This article was originally published at Muslimah Media Watch.
Introduction
Sex and the Citadel is a collection of stories by Shereen El-Feki, who spent five years traveling across Egypt and several other Arab countries asking people about sex: “what they do, what they don’t, what they think and why”. Why write about sex? Her choice of subject matter is partly stimulated by how sexual attitudes and behaviours are intimately (pun intended) linked to the regions religions, traditions, cultures, politics and economics. True to her mission to understand sex in Egypt and the Arab region through the stories of its peoples, El-Feki also gives some insight to her own story.
The first chapter (Shifting Positions) looks at how sexual attitudes have shifted globally over time, through stories from her El-Feki’s Welsh mother and her Egyptian friends and research from prominent academics from the Arab world like Abdessamad Dialmy (Morocco) and Abdelwahab Boudhiba (Tunisia).
What I enjoyed most from this book was the extensive collection of best practices from Egypt and its neighbours. In my opinion, this valuable collection does not only help Egypt, but also Muslim communities around the world, who may have a shared understanding of concepts and principles surrounding sex. El-Feki’s personal experience of being introduced as a researcher of “reproductive health and marital relations” instead of the straightforward “sex” shows how to address an audience in a non-offensive but effective way.
Introduction
Sex and the Citadel is a collection of stories by Shereen El-Feki, who spent five years traveling across Egypt and several other Arab countries asking people about sex: “what they do, what they don’t, what they think and why”. Why write about sex? Her choice of subject matter is partly stimulated by how sexual attitudes and behaviours are intimately (pun intended) linked to the regions religions, traditions, cultures, politics and economics. True to her mission to understand sex in Egypt and the Arab region through the stories of its peoples, El-Feki also gives some insight to her own story.
El-Feki was trained as a immunologist and
then worked as a health and science journalist at The Economist. Half
Egyptian and half Welsh, she is able to be both an insider and an outsider,
which seems to have served her well in her research for this book. She also
provides much self-reflexivity in the book - especially at the beginning and
the end – which provides a clearer picture of how she positions herself as a
researcher from the Global North studying the South, as a woman raised in the
West (Canada) interacting with Arab women and men of various religious and
socio-economic backgrounds.
Like the topic of sex, the book is both
personal (as seen by her extensive use of quotes from her interviewees and the
use of her grandmother’s sayings to preface each chapter) and political
(although the book focuses on Egypt, it also includes examples from Morocco,
Tunisia, Lebanon, Israel, Saudi Arabic, and so on).
This review provides a brief summary of the
book’s chapters, highlighting specific events or personages that I found
particularly interesting, before touching on some aspects (both encouraging and
downbeat) of the book.
Summary The first chapter (Shifting Positions) looks at how sexual attitudes have shifted globally over time, through stories from her El-Feki’s Welsh mother and her Egyptian friends and research from prominent academics from the Arab world like Abdessamad Dialmy (Morocco) and Abdelwahab Boudhiba (Tunisia).
The title of the second chapter (Desperate
Housewives) alludes to the universality of anxiety surrounding various
marital issues. It looks at issues such as the singles’ quest for marriage,
types of informal (non-state) marriage, sexual activity inside and outside of
marriage, male impotence, reproduction, and divorce – featuring interviews with
Heba Kotb, the most well-known sex therapist in the Arab world.
The third chapter (Sex and the Single
Arab) attempts to make sense of the sex lives of unmarried Egyptian youth,
through a hodge-podge of topics such as classical and contemporary courtship
(the latter being aided by “technology-assisted flirtation” using the Internet
and mobile phones), female genital mutilation (FGM), the value of virginity,
moving out without being married, and sexual harassment. This chapter briefly
addresses Egypt’s widespread FGM in the context of controlling youthful libido,
and interestingly concludes that the clitoris is not usually seen as being an
integral part of sexual pleasure for women.
The fourth chapter (Facts of Life)
is about sex education, contraception, abortion, and unwed motherhood. The
feature on Shababna, an Egyptian telephone helpline for youth to ask about
health and sexual issues, could be an best practice example for other Muslim
communities to provide much-need sex education for their youth, who are
otherwise getting information from films and Internet pornography. Besides the
Qatari and Emirati examples of comprehensive sex education aimed at married
couples, there are also examples of abortion or support services for unwed
mothers.
The fifth chapter (Sex for Sale)
focuses on sex work and its customers, which not only gives insights into the
economic options of a class of Egyptian women and men, but also into conjugal
happiness and the need to hide any same-sex tendencies. Tunisia’s legal
brothels and Moroccan NGOs that reach out to sex workers are contrasted with
the risky nature of illegal commercial sex work in Egypt.
The sixth chapter (Dare to be different)
covers a variety of non-heterosexual sexual practices, reparative therapy for
homosexuals, and the love lives of gay men and lesbian women. While interviews
with homosexual men were mostly from Egypt, those of lesbian women and
transgender women were mostly from Lebanon. The chapter also looks at several
feminist LGBT organizations in Lebanon, aimed at providing a best practice for
Egypt in the future.
ReviewWhat I enjoyed most from this book was the extensive collection of best practices from Egypt and its neighbours. In my opinion, this valuable collection does not only help Egypt, but also Muslim communities around the world, who may have a shared understanding of concepts and principles surrounding sex. El-Feki’s personal experience of being introduced as a researcher of “reproductive health and marital relations” instead of the straightforward “sex” shows how to address an audience in a non-offensive but effective way.
The most useful example I found was the
initiative of Palestinian Safa Tamish to get sex education into Arab schools in
Israel (Chapter 4). El-Feki’s details show a concrete way of getting around the
fear of sex education (which is often seen as only suitable for the West):
Tamish manages to soften parents to the idea of sex education by gathering
information from the children using surveys.
However, I find El-Feki’s use of verses
from the Quran and hadith literature problematic. While these textual sources
provide an overall guidance and climate for people in Egypt and the Arab region
to lead their lives, it is mostly through the interpretations that are given to
them by authoritative religious figures. Even though I am not from the Arab
region, religious and social norms taken from these textual sources have a
strong hold in the Muslim environment I grew up in.
I feel that for a non-Muslim audience, it
might have been helpful to mention that dominant interpretations, while they
hold much socio-cultural and legal power, they are still only interpretations.
Minority (but ideally, equally valid) egalitarian interpretations (especially
those by contemporary feminist scholars) may also have a growing role in the
future of Muslim communities.
This book does not spare the reader from
truths, no matter how ugly some of them may be. While it was difficult to read
about reparative therapy of homosexual men in Egypt (Chapter 6), the voices of
men who are happy to have been ‘cured’ cannot also be ignored, no matter how
strongly one might believe that same-sex attraction is inborn.
It was also difficult for me to read how
men were sometimes portrayed in a reductive fashion, especially when talking
about their attitudes towards women (Chapter 3). Some of the quotes from her
interviewees hinted at a Western imperialist idea of Third World women being
oppressed by their men, but I had to accept that they said it themselves. While
El-Feki filters an immense amount of information, she deliberately provides
nuance and historical context to an issue. For example, while sexual harassment
is sub-headed as ‘battle of the sexes’, she links masculinity and youth unemployment
with government failings to provide security.
Overall, I immensely enjoyed reading Sex
and the Citadel. It is much needed in most, if not all, Muslim communities
today, to see examples of how other Muslim communities have responded to the
call for sex to be addressed in a mature fashion. This book is particularly
useful for religious teachers, social workers, activists for sexual and
reproductive health As a Muslim from Southeast Asia, I think this book is also
valuable in providing a nuanced representation of the Arab region, which has
often been romanticised (both as a sexual and puritan society) in our
imagination.
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