Friday, January 1, 2016

How I learned that sexual abuse was not a big deal.

TW: sexual abuse, rape

This is a collection of anecdotes of sexual abuse among Muslims, and the reactions surround them, as told to me by various people. Arranged in no particular order.
A young girl was raped by a parent for many years. She continually receives the advice to be kind to her parents, with no regard for her suffering.

A young man's father molested his sister many years ago. He shows me the room where it took place. Life goes on as if nothing had happened.

A girl was molested by a boy in a stairwell when she was 5 years old. Only able to articulate what happened 4 years later, her parents are silent for a moment when she tells them and talk about something else instead, as if she said nothing.

A man who raped a young woman wants to ask her parents if he can marry her. He uses the rape as blackmail and her parents are afraid for the family's reputation.

A religious teacher known by the title of ustaz is caught molesting his young female students.

Another ustaz is caught for raping his two daughters, because he thinks he is allowed to have sex with "those that your right hands possess". People can hardly stand to be tough to this elderly, bearded and apparently all-knowing man.

A young woman's husband forces himself on her several times a day. She tries to be a good wife and uses lube to make sex less painful. Rape hurts, and marital rape hurts double.

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Where is the outrage? Why is everyone so timid about taking action? Why are the jurists silent and complicit?

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